Pause. Breathe. Hope. Heal.
Dear Reader! To make life easier for you, I wanted to give you this information in a couple different formats. You can either read this blog post, or click the link below to download the podcast and listen to the episode on the go.
Summer is coming to a close and back to school is upon us. We find ourselves running around trying to get us and our kids organized, and many of us tend to go into that first week of school feeling in some way, shape or form overwhelmed and frustrated.
Can I just normalize that for all of us parents and caregivers? Whether it’s a big change in your kids routine or a little change, any kind of change usually brings with it some measure of apprehension. So, I encourage you to name it. Think about this saying by Dr. Dan Siegel, ‘Name it to Tame it’.
So, what does ‘Name it to Tame it’ mean in this context?
- It means to pause and identify which part of the back to school transition feels most challenging for you, and for your kids.
- It means to share the burden by allowing yourself to talk about it and co-regulate with a partner or friend.
- It means to normalize any feelings of anxiety or apprehension that your kids are experiencing. Ask them what parts are coming up for them? Do they have a worried part? Could that part be concerned about making new friends? Are they noticing a perfectionistic part? Is that part feeling pressured to do everything right? Be curious and compassionate about what your kids share, and if you need a better understanding about parts, check out my post about: Internal Family Systems (Season 1: Episode 13).
So, with all this in mind, here are three helpful back to school tips:
- Get into a helpful routine. Co-create a plan with your kids for when they’re going to do homework, unplug from their devices, and go to bed on weeknights. Then encourage and celebrate them as they practice these healthy routines.
- Talk about safety. The roads around school zones can be a zoo. So remind your kids to look both ways, catch the eye of motorists when crossing the street, cross at the lights and crosswalks, and walk their bikes across the street. For older teens, remind them about being responsible when driving and or being a passenger in a friend’s car.
- Tell them about compassion and growth. Remind your kids to offer themselves and others compassion. Talk to them about what they’re feeling grateful for. Tell them it’s important to ask for help, and remind them that you’re excited to watch their overall growth over the upcoming school year.
As another summer comes to an end and our kids head back to school, remember you and your kids are on the same team. So, talk about the transition, check in with them often, be prepared to pivot if something is not working.
Now, as you finish reading this post, remember to take a moment to pause, breathe, hope, and heal.
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